In the last couple of weeks I’ve finally had time to put my ‘old’ life behind me (spreadsheets!) and start planning for the future.
This is what I’ve been working towards, and what I’ve been dreaming about for what seems like a very long time.
Now it’s here, and now I have to make a living – amongst other things – from my creative teachings and any other bright ideas that I have to go alongside it! (I do have some ideas 😊)
So, as I sit and try and plan, I think about what I can offer, what makes me special and what I can do differently.
It’s terrifying! Like many people, my ‘go to’ position is to compare myself to others. Yet, when I compare myself, all I see is how I come up short.
Who can identify with this? It’s a pattern of thinking that everyone has to a certain degree. I have always envied those who have lifelong confidence.
However, it is possible to turn your thinking around. First you have to notice this thinking pattern. When you notice that you’re thinking like this, it’s so much easier to say ‘Ah ha – stop! Now, come on, be rational’.
Once you start thinking rationally, it does get easier, as the neural pathway roads in your brain strengthen from overgrown paths to highways.
So, what I do now, is to try and think about how everyone has unique talents. Everyone has something different to offer, no matter their experience, their training and their self-perceived talent.
We all have some creativity in us. For me, creativity is about expressing yourself – not trying to be perfect, not trying to compete with the person sitting next to you – online or in person. We all have unique perspectives to bring to what we create. This is what I love at the end of each workshop – the many individual interpretations of a single pattern.
I started this creative journey when I was working so hard all I was doing was work-sleep-eat. This unsustainable drain on my energy needed creativity to counter it, to create a more balanced life.
We have to accept that life will never always be perfect and happy. Arguably, you can’t feel happiness unless you know it’s opposite, sadness/grief/pain, to compare it against.
However, you can find balance. You can find peace. You can tame that internal narrative that tells you that you’re not perfect, and not going to win any international awards in the near future. For me, happiness is balance, punctuated by moments of pure bliss – such as sitting on our terrace in the sunshine, with our glorious view, as I write this.
I create to be happy. I create to see others happy.
That’s my speciality.
What’s yours?
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